finding my road

These past couple of day’s have be one of growth for me – always growth.  I have been increasingly frustrated at my own ineptitude with the technological challenges that inevitably comes with running a blog.  I started Pip’s blogging course because well, I just wanted to find my niche.  I wanted a pretty blog, but more importantly I wanted a blog that spoke to people.  I wanted to move people, touch people, make a difference.  I need to do that.  Alas, despite my expectations, Pip could never give me that.  It was not fair to expect that of her or the course.  Yes, the blogging course could provide me the map and even a few supplies along the way, but ultimately the journey has to be mine.  That road to the purpose and voice of my little foray into blogging is one only I can make.

For two days I have obsessed about my blog.  I bought the domain name, bought the hosting, started the design process and somewhere in between obsessing about the prettiness of my blog, buying a template and crashing my site, I lost the road, my road, to this part of cyber-world.  For two days I have looked at hundreds of themes and other peoples’ blogs desperate to follow their well trodden path, to recreate my own perception of their success.  I have been a woman possessed by the blogging demon.  I searched endlessly for what ‘they’ had.  And I wanted it now dammit!

And then it happened.  In my overzealousness (is that a word?), I crashed my site and, being a Saturday, I had no alternative than to down tools.  Reluctantly, I entered the world of my family, all busy with the normal hum drum that is our weekend life.  A few friends dropped around for a thermomix demonstration (the BEST Christmas present I have ever received).  We ate, we drank coffee, we cooed at the machine’s genius, and we laughed.

2014 - 02 - 08 Thermomix

Our daughter dropped round with our beautiful grandson who joined my husband in the garage to hlep him build the workbench for all of his tools.  As his 20-month old hands folded over the wrench and tottered over to his grandad ready and as keen as mustard to be a part of the creation, I marvelled.  I marvelled at this beautiful creature that is a continuation of our dna, that is the very personification of the circle of life, so joyful, unencumbered and beautiful.

2014 - 02 - 08 Cameron

My in-laws joined us later for dinner.  I cooked potato salad in my amazing Thermomix and we sat outside, all of us, all connected, all bound by this thing called family.  And there it was.  Waiting for me.  It waited and then it whispered to me.  The words are what matter.  Not the wrapping they come in.  It doesn’t matter how many social buttons you have on your site, or how many followers you attract, or even the ever changing purpose of your blog.  What matters is how you tell the story of your journey.

So here I am.  Walking my road.  Telling my story.  With not much wrapping.

Until next time,

sarah coffee-break signature